Yo, dis one goes out to my fellow people pleasers!
My people who have been meaning to work on setting boundaries, say “no” more and stop feeling like they’re in a 100 mile an hour race until they crash on the couch for Netflix.
Oh yeah, I see you.
One of my first assignments back when my health and gut went haywire was to take one day off per week. And it took me forever to make it happen.
Overworking was part of my identity. Constantly being available for my people was my call to arms. Cue sh*tstorm when you own a business because in that world, the work NEVER ends if you don’t want it to.
It finally just clicked for me. Why does it matter if I’m working all the time? Is it actually doing any good? Is it helping my people? Or could actually be hurting the very people I strive to serve because now I’m unable to bring my A-game every single day?
Ouch, gut check (ha, pun! Because I had gut issues, get it? Ok, moving on).
Sometimes there’s gotta be seasons of craziness and growth. But there really should be seasons - not one extended long winter (you guys ready for GOT or what??)
I want to be the coach and friend and partner who is so set in my boundaries, that I can bring my best to you every time it is needed. I think I’ve made improvement here, so I wanted to share 3 BASIC practices that changed the game for me.
Setting Boundaries Like A Boss Without Being Rude
1. Implement the 4-Hour Rule
When you’re invited to plans or asked to do something, take at least 2-4 hours before committing. Replace yes with “I’ll get back you (time)."
2. Start using “No, thanks!" as a complete sentence
You don’t actually have to provide reasons for or against doing anything. This one is weird at first but will make you feel free as hell.
3. Schedule your essentials
Lack of planning means you fly by the seat of yo pants and don’t realize that saying yes to plans or a commitment means you’re having to say no to what is ESSENTIAL to your life - down time, movement, or relationships.